Who knows?

I’ve just read the Chronicles of Narnia again. For those of you who don’t know, it’s a great series of books by C.S. Lewis about another world with all kinds of talking animals and magic and the adventures of children from England. It’s a lot of fun, and the author uses these stories as allegories to talk about human nature, our relationship with God, and His love for us. It’s an easy read at the 5th grade level, and I highly recommend it.

The final book of the series is called The Last Battle, and in it the author refers to the end of the world. He’s got characters to represent God, Satan, the anti-Christ, believers, non-believers, etc and of course the title refers to the battle of Armageddon as mentioned in Revelation. What’s got me thinking are these silly talking animals and how easily they are fooled by the ”anti-Christ”. Their downfall is the reasoning that God is above them and that they cannot understand His ways and cannot require Him to be as they think He should be.

But isn’t that good? I mean, it’s practically the reason I started this blog! So many Christians in America think they know exactly what Jesus would do. He’d vote republican, or democrat, or not at all. He’d be protestant, catholic, or even zen buddhist. But fact is, my God is an awesome God who defies description. I can’t predict what he should do, and as the talking animals put it, “he’s not a tame lion.” Does that mean I’ll get taken in by the beast who calls himself god?

In the book, it seems to have no effect how much you know about God. The bear (a little slow in the head) is too simple to see through the lie, while a dwarf (also a simple creature) finds the lie too complicated to be real. On the other hand, the shrewd mice can appreciate the intricate reasoning supporting the false god, while the astrologer centaur reads the truth in the stars above. Similarly, in a recent discussion with friends we asked how educated Christians ought to be. Should we have a simple faith in what we’re told, or should we all be Bible scholars? Does it even make a difference?

I guess what concerns me is the question, Can I know who God is? Part of me says no. God is awesome and majestic and outside of my understanding (Is 55:8,9). But a part of me also says yes. By His grace, I have a relationship with Him and He has told me about Himself (Ex 34:6,7).

I guess, as with most things, there’s a healthy balance of those two attitudes. God is holy and ought to be treated as such, but He’s also near and very familiar. Maybe it’s the difference between knowing about Him and just knowing Him. I can’t define Him, but I can recognize Him. I can live with that. It’s a privilege and a comfort.

Can you recognize God? If not, I don’t think I could describe Him. Nobody, not a pro-life zen buddhist farmer or a pro-choice presbyterian politician could define Him. But I’d be more than happy to introduce you.

So, you're going to Malta?

YES! Yes I am! And…?

And I’ve got a lot of work to do in the mean time, which is why it’s getting really annoying that people want to make small talk of one of the biggest decisions of my life. People seem to just love to stop by my cubicle and chat it up. The thing that makes these conversations so annoying is that people only ask two kinds of questions – really stupid or way too deep.

So I thought I’d just answer some of the dumb questions right up front:
So, you’re going to Malta? Yes, I am.
Are you excited? Yes.
Are you going to miss your family? Yes.
I hear you’re going to Malta? YEP!
What are you going to do there? I’ll eat, sleep, and breathe; otherwise, I’m going to need you to be more specific.
Are you all packed? No, and it might have something to do with the fact that I need more that one pair of underwear to get me through the next three weeks.
So, you’re going to Malta? Would you be asking me this question if I weren’t?

As for the deep questions, at least I’m glad that people are asking, but really… I’ve got a million and one things to do before my last day at work. The only other decisions I’ve made that top this one are accepting Christ and getting married. And nobody would expect a 30 second answer to So you’re a Christian? or So you’re married? Besides which, I happen to be one of those crazy people who like to get things done at work instead of strolling around the office socializing. So if you really want to know why I’m going to Malta, buy me a cup of coffee some evening and I’d love to tell you all about my Inspiration.

Okay, okay, I know. Y’all reading this blog aren’t my annoying co-workers. In fact, if you are reading this at all, you’re most likely one of my friends and family members that I know and love and would be happy to talk to at any time about any thing. Actually, maybe it would be a good blog topic to let you all know why my wife and I are making this move. In the mean time, I just needed to vent.

Allusions of Grandeur

I’ve got a few favorite Bible characters. Perhaps you do to. For me, these are the men or women that I set as my role models or heroes. I like Moses and David, as many people do. And I also want to be like Daniel or Nehemiah, who are talked about a little less often. But whoever your favorite Bible personalities are, at least they’re pretty well known. And it’s exactly that fact, that these dudes are fairly famous, that has been kind of confusing for me in my pursuit of spiritual growth.

I mean, these are the people that God sets up for us as positive examples, right? So we ought to try to be like them, right? But does that mean that we ought to be famous or as well known as they were? I don’t really want to think so, but I can’t really get around it either. It’s sort of an odd trick that there’s no Biblical role model who wasn’t at least well known enough to be mentioned in the Bible. And you won’t find any folks in the Bible who aren’t at least famous for being in the Bible.

I’m probably confusing you already. Let me try to put it another way: I’m pretty sure that God’s definition of greatness is not the same as ours. Being tight with God shouldn’t be contingent on social fame, as far as I can figure it. But the problem is that all such people that God gives us as examples are, in fact, quite well known. So how can I try to be like these people without also hoping to be well known?

Or maybe it’s not so bad to want to be famous. I suppose there’s something to be said for the fact that if God is really using you, then you will touch a lot of people. Jesus said, “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden…let your light shine before men…” (Matthew 5, NIV). I guess I’m just afraid of confusing the desire to know and serve God with the desire for fame.

I’ve caught myself in private prayer time saying two similar things, “Father, I want to be a man of God”, and, “Father, I want to be known as a man of God.” So then I have to stop and think to myself…what do I really mean? What do I really want? What should I really say? And what’s the difference? I just haven’t figured out how to hope for greatness with God, that isn’t also hoping for something that would stroke my ego. If that’s so bad.

What do you think?

(and, yes, I know the difference between allusion and illusion. it’s a pun, but I thought it might be a little too subtle to pass as a poignant play on words instead of a misspelling without an explanation.)

Sum of All Desires

So I’ve got a few thoughts and theories that I haven’t put out there yet. Mostly it’s because I often feel like I’m nowhere near to being a quotable authority on anything. And I guess it feels that way mostly because my Teacher kind of knows absolutely everything. Even the serious posts in this blog are meant just to question our “knowledge” of spiritual things in favor of the realization that God’s ways and thoughts are far above our own. And who’s to say?

That said, I’ve got some ruminations about God, scripture, and human nature. And I guess the only way to get feedback on my thoughts is to put them out there. So here’s one of my favorites…

One day, as I took some prayerful time in reading scripture and journaling, I began to consider the selfish nature of people, including myself. Where do we get that? Is that a sin thing? How do we get over it? I thought about what it means to be selfish. Simply put, I think it basically means to act in one’s own best interest. Okay, but then how can one be selfless? Let’s say I do something for someone else to my own harm. Why would I do that? Wouldn’t I expect that it’s because I should, or because there’s a longer-term benefit to myself? And this led me to the idea that nobody can really do something they don’t want to do.

Example: Let’s say a bad guy stormed into the room and pointed a gun at my wife’s head and said, “It’s her or you!” Of course I’d volunteer to die in my wife’s place. But why? It’s because my desire for her to live is greater than for me to live. Also I know that I should because as her husband I’ve got to keep my promise to protect her. And honestly, I expect there’d be a heavenly reward of some kind too.

So although I’m acting in another’s best interest, that’s only because I’ve projected my best interests onto them. I’m still actually acting to my own benefit. I’m doing what I want to do, but it’s not so bad. So I thought… if that’s not so bad, is it good? God is good. Is God selfless? Well, He shows indescribable mercy and grace to us. But that’s not anything that he doesn’t want to do. And in fact, it’s to His glory that He does the things He does. Maybe we’re actually like God in that way. We’re free to do what we want, and really we can only do what we want. The thing that’s most like selflessness is to project our best interests onto someone else, but that’s not something that we don’t already want to do.

Let’s bring it down to real world, every day example: There were classes in college that I absolutely hated. Either I disliked the topic or was completely bored. I didn’t want to go to those classes. At the same time, I was set on getting a degree. That’s something that would be valuable for the rest of my life. I did want to graduate. So I don’t want to go to class, but I do. That’s strange. Can I really say that I don’t want to go to class? No. Actually I want to go to class so that I can graduate, and that desire is stronger than my desire to avoid that class. I’m weighing the options, comparing the outcomes, and when I add up my desires there’s a net result… I want to go to class. That’s what I call the sum of all desires.

Stemming from my thoughts on selfishness, the sum of all desires is really just a way of defining my thoughts, which shows that I can never really do anything I don’t actually want to do. I find this theory to be fairly practical in my everyday life too. When there’s something that I don’t want to do, I think about what really is the sum of my desires. It makes it easier to do that task without sulking or complaining when I realize that I actually do want to do it. It even makes the task a little more enjoyable.

This isn’t an airtight theory, I’ve learned. My wife has also had some good thoughts to the contrary. As we’ve discussed it, there’s an argument against the sum of all desires that’s mostly along the gender line. For women, feelings and emotions and desires are something much more real then men generally consider them to be. My wife thinks that conflicting desires are separate desires, each existing on its own, and that the one can’t just cancel the other out. If you have two feelings about something, you have two feelings. That’s a good point too.

What do you think? Can desires be summed? Or can you really do anything selfless? Is God selfless, and why does that feel like such a bad question to ask? What does it look like to not be selfish? Tell me your thoughts on any of these questions, or just tell me your opinion of the theory. You know you want to leave a comment, but what is the sum of your desires?

Voice Column

Over the last half-dozen years as my sister and I have each grown up and formed our own views and opinions of the world, we’ve had more than a few deep discussions. It’s been very insightful to get her take on things, and I’m proud that she’s been receptive of mine too. So it’s no surprise that we end up with the same attitudes about a lot of things.

Going to college up in Portland, she recently wrote an awesome editorial column for her school’s newsletter. She’s spot on! Check out her insights here.

Quotes

Before I got my current assignment at work, I was pretty bored. So my sister and I were in touch by email all the time, and we decided to create a list of quotes. We actually had a really fun time. Between the two of us we made this list of quotes into something epic. We formed a list of rules for adding or changing a quote, like policies and procedures. We even added amendments when we wanted to change the rules. We gave ourselves official titles, promoted each other, and formed committees. When our family saw the growing list of quotes they wanted to jump in, so my sister and I put out and RFP. Due to lack of response, we made revisions and re-released the RFP. I know, I know... we're total nerds. But it was fun.

Then we both found better things to do with our time, and our little project was put on the back burner. But now, having obtained a unanimous vote between all two members of the presiding body over this honored document, it my great privilege to present to the general public, at long last - The Quotes.

Now this list is composed of funny, witty, random, inspiring, and meaningful quotations (some of which are inside jokes). Do not read while operating heavy machinery....

It could work!
Young Frankenstein

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me, so help me! And cut!
Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc.)

E-mail, it’s like the sugar on the candy for my stuff.
Strong Bad

Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.
Sir Winston Churchill

And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.
The Apostle John (ESV)

Bone of my bone, and flesh, I be talkin’ FLESH here.
Pastor Ed Gungor

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
Gracie Allen

It looked more like Mother Theresa than most cinnamon rolls.
Ben (co-editor)

So you begin to digest yourself, which is a very big problem.
Discovery Channel M.D.

It’s a little bit up to the ceiling.
Missy (co-editor)

I’m not a witch; I’m your wife! But after what you just said, I’m not even sure I want to be that anymore!
Valerie (Princess Bride)

You are the man.
Nathan (II Samuel 12:7)

I am not the man.
Alexander Chasinau (Alias)

God made dirt, and dirt don’t hurt.
Some kid

It matters enormously if I alienate anyone from the truth.
C.S. Lewis

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again – rejoice!
Paul the Apostle

Yes, tiny pickle, you are not a mighty dill. You are just a baby gherkin!
Philippe Pea

I think I want the steak AND the lobster. In fact, don't even bother killing the lobster; can I get the lobster eating a steak?
Brian Humphreys (friend)

In keeping with American tradition, we shall dally and tarry…
Missy (co-editor)

I probably wouldn’t have put it that way, but it’s true – we can be butt holes sometimes.
Dr. Hauff (my college prof)

It’s high time you were shown
That you don’t really know all there is to be known.
Dr. Seuss

I have had prayers answered - most strangely so sometimes - but I think our heavenly Father's loving-kindness has been even more evident in what He has refused me.
Lewis Carroll

A beep on the nose is a sign of great affection.
Lucy Van Pelt

Can we have a dish of thousand island for the table?
Ken

Well, I suppose in the end it was a romantic way to perish, for a mouse.
Anne Shirley

There she weaves by night and day a magic web of colours gay. She has heard a whisper say a curse is on her if she stay to look down to Camelot.
Lord Alfred Tennyson

Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one today!
Phil Connors (Ground Hog Day)

I'm so glad I'm part of this family. It's wonderful to have Ken and Aimee as parents, and Ben, Jessica, and Missy as siblings.
Michael

Do you scream with your coffee?
Darling Little Filipino Waitress at the Now Closed Peppermill Restaurant

Our hearts are like a diaper. Sometimes we soak everything up, other times we make a mess of it.
Dannifer (friend)

Why should I have to WORK for everything?! It's like saying I don't deserve it!
Calvin (& Hobbes)

No arsenal or no weapon in the arsenals of the world is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.
Ronald Reagan (first inaugural address, January 20, 1981)

It has always seemed to me extreme presumptuousness on the part of those who want to make human ability the measure of what nature can and knows how to do, since, when one comes down to it, there is not one effect in nature, no matter how small, that even the most speculative minds can fully understand.
Galileo Galilei

Mr. Bo Jangles is a girl! Mr. Bo Jangles is a girl!
Dog Show

When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
Anatole France