Question #29

Not long ago, every member of Word of Life took a spiritual gifts test at the Tuesday night Bible Study meeting as a step to getting people more involved in ministries at the church. It was really great especially to see several of the newer Christians look at their results and excitedly “discover” a potential gift. I myself hadn’t done a spiritual gifts test for some time, and it was good too do one again. But the subject of this post is one question in particular, number twenty-nine:

I believe that God will help me to accomplish great things.

All the question are supposed to be answered on a little rating of 0 to 3 (0 being no/disagree/never, and 3 being yes/agree/always), easy stuff. I had whizzed through questions 1 to 28, but I got stuck for a minute on this one. I have been asking this question of myself for years.

I had been told as a child that I could be anything. When my parents asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I confidently said, “the President.” And they confidently replied, “Awesome!” And I grew up with great Bible stories like David and Goliath, or the boy’s measly 5 loaves and 2 fish that Jesus used to feed over 5,000. I knew God could do great things with my little self, so I had big dreams.

But then when I got to Jr. High and High School, the adults in my life started saying strange things like, “Ben, you’re a natural leader. You’ve got the qualities of a leader. You’re ahead of your peers.” I thought that was all well and good, but I couldn’t figure out why, if I was a leader, was there nobody following me? Was I doing something wrong? I guess they were trying to encourage me, but I ended up more disappointed in myself. Their constant encouragement felt more and more like unmet expectations. To this day, I’m still not sure if it was the right thing for me to hear at that time. If a young person is a natural leader shouldn’t we just let them grow into it? I mention this story specifically because I know that there are a few of you readers who are or have been youth group pastors. For those students in youth groups who are “natural leaders” should we really be telling them so, or spending extra time with them, or anything? What do you think? I remember one situation in particular when the teachers of our school chose four or five of us “leaders” to go on an extra cool excursion as a team building activity. But we didn’t grow especially close, and I don’t know whether the other kids are in any kind of “leading” capacity today. I only remember the looks and comments I got from all the “regular” kids when we came back to school, cause they didn't get to go.

Anyways, through that time I also figured out that I have a heart for missions. So I dreamed of graduating High School, moving off to some exotic pagan land, preaching to hundreds, with signs and miracles etc. So when I ended up trudging through lecture after lecture of a humanities course in a secular college, I wondered what God was doing with me. I argued a lot with God, and I was angry with Him. Why did He give me these illusions of grandeur?

At the same time, however, He showed me, in that gentle way that only He knows, that His hand was on me and that He was leading me one step at a time. I held on to the words of one of the godly women in my church. As she was praying over one sunday me she encouraged me by saying, "Don't be anxious about getting there, about becoming something. God's got a story He wants to work into your life." And today I'm confident that He has lead me exactly where He wants me.

But today I'm hesitant about saying exactly where God will take me in the future. How "great" does God want me to be? What "great" things does God want me to do? I don't know. That's up to Him. My dreams and expectations were disappointed because they haven't been realized (yet, at least in the time frame I had imagined). But I'm not disappointed with where I am now. In fact, I count myself to be the most blessed man on the planet. So maybe my expectations were just too much or too fast or something. Like I was recently telling someone - sometimes we need to give ourselves room to be smaller than our dreams. Maybe some of us dream too big and set unrealistic expectations. Maybe others dream too small and need to be encouraged to realize their full potential in Him. How will you answer question twenty-nine?

On a side note, question twenty-nine was targeted at measuring whether you have a particular spiritual gift of faith. And while this question was tough for me, the test as a whole still scored faith in my top three possible gifts.