Poverbs 16:9

The mind of a man plans his ways,
But the Lord directs his steps.

Okaaayy… I remember when I first read that verse several years ago. I didn’t know, and I guess I still don’t know, exactly how it’s supposed to be interpreted or applied to my life. I think of questions like, “Does this go for believers and non-believers alike? Why doesn’t God just direct the plans? Am I still supposed to try to plan my ways? Is this some type of cryptic advice? Is this some kind of predestination thing?”

I think initially this verse stuck in my head just because I found it so mysterious. I just kind of carried it around in my head, ruminating on the possible truth of it, trying to figure out how it fit into the grand scheme of things. It kept coming back to me during times of prayer, and I’d often stop reading some other passage of the Bible and flip back to it, as if to make sure it was really still there. It’s not like there was any voice from heaven, and I don’t even remember any moment of impression or inspiration, but somehow I came to feel like God was speaking this verse to me. And now I think He’s the one reminding me of it. Because even though I still don’t really get it completely, I’m starting to see that it’s true in my life.

It’s kind of hard to explain. I mean, I’m here in Malta because I’m stepping out to find what the Lord wants to do with me. I’ve always had a passion to serve God, and I love experiencing other cultures, so I’ve guessed I should be a missionary (and thankfully I’ve also learned over the last several years that it involves a lot more than the current, western concept of “evangelism”). And it’s like I can look back at any one place I’ve traveled, or any one job I’ve taken and say that I decided to do that and I had reasons x, y, and z. But when I look back at the last 24 years of my life, there’s no way that I could have guided it to where it is today. God’s definitely been directing my life.

But it’s not that the current situation is so rock solid. At times, it’s been difficult to explain to people why now, why Malta, etc. Even the locals don’t understand why we want to learn Maltese, since it’s only spoken by a handful of people who otherwise speak English on a dry rock in the middle of the sea. They have a good point, and I’m unsure about a lot of things myself. I have no idea whether next week I will have a job, or even a work permit, a car, a small Bible study, a youth group. I could have everything or nothing. But that’s kinda the plan right now.

We’re gonna continue to plan things one day, one conversation at a time. But we’ve sort of come to a point, on purpose, where we’re depending on God to direct our steps. To some people that can sound incredibly irresponsible and it’s hard to explain why it’s not. And even though I’m nervous for things to work out alright both in the short and long term, I have a strange confidence.

It’s like God has a grin on his face and he’s saying, “Remember that one verse? Check this out…”