Quotes

Before I got my current assignment at work, I was pretty bored. So my sister and I were in touch by email all the time, and we decided to create a list of quotes. We actually had a really fun time. Between the two of us we made this list of quotes into something epic. We formed a list of rules for adding or changing a quote, like policies and procedures. We even added amendments when we wanted to change the rules. We gave ourselves official titles, promoted each other, and formed committees. When our family saw the growing list of quotes they wanted to jump in, so my sister and I put out and RFP. Due to lack of response, we made revisions and re-released the RFP. I know, I know... we're total nerds. But it was fun.

Then we both found better things to do with our time, and our little project was put on the back burner. But now, having obtained a unanimous vote between all two members of the presiding body over this honored document, it my great privilege to present to the general public, at long last - The Quotes.

Now this list is composed of funny, witty, random, inspiring, and meaningful quotations (some of which are inside jokes). Do not read while operating heavy machinery....

It could work!
Young Frankenstein

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me, so help me! And cut!
Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc.)

E-mail, it’s like the sugar on the candy for my stuff.
Strong Bad

Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.
Sir Winston Churchill

And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.
The Apostle John (ESV)

Bone of my bone, and flesh, I be talkin’ FLESH here.
Pastor Ed Gungor

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
Gracie Allen

It looked more like Mother Theresa than most cinnamon rolls.
Ben (co-editor)

So you begin to digest yourself, which is a very big problem.
Discovery Channel M.D.

It’s a little bit up to the ceiling.
Missy (co-editor)

I’m not a witch; I’m your wife! But after what you just said, I’m not even sure I want to be that anymore!
Valerie (Princess Bride)

You are the man.
Nathan (II Samuel 12:7)

I am not the man.
Alexander Chasinau (Alias)

God made dirt, and dirt don’t hurt.
Some kid

It matters enormously if I alienate anyone from the truth.
C.S. Lewis

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again – rejoice!
Paul the Apostle

Yes, tiny pickle, you are not a mighty dill. You are just a baby gherkin!
Philippe Pea

I think I want the steak AND the lobster. In fact, don't even bother killing the lobster; can I get the lobster eating a steak?
Brian Humphreys (friend)

In keeping with American tradition, we shall dally and tarry…
Missy (co-editor)

I probably wouldn’t have put it that way, but it’s true – we can be butt holes sometimes.
Dr. Hauff (my college prof)

It’s high time you were shown
That you don’t really know all there is to be known.
Dr. Seuss

I have had prayers answered - most strangely so sometimes - but I think our heavenly Father's loving-kindness has been even more evident in what He has refused me.
Lewis Carroll

A beep on the nose is a sign of great affection.
Lucy Van Pelt

Can we have a dish of thousand island for the table?
Ken

Well, I suppose in the end it was a romantic way to perish, for a mouse.
Anne Shirley

There she weaves by night and day a magic web of colours gay. She has heard a whisper say a curse is on her if she stay to look down to Camelot.
Lord Alfred Tennyson

Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one today!
Phil Connors (Ground Hog Day)

I'm so glad I'm part of this family. It's wonderful to have Ken and Aimee as parents, and Ben, Jessica, and Missy as siblings.
Michael

Do you scream with your coffee?
Darling Little Filipino Waitress at the Now Closed Peppermill Restaurant

Our hearts are like a diaper. Sometimes we soak everything up, other times we make a mess of it.
Dannifer (friend)

Why should I have to WORK for everything?! It's like saying I don't deserve it!
Calvin (& Hobbes)

No arsenal or no weapon in the arsenals of the world is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.
Ronald Reagan (first inaugural address, January 20, 1981)

It has always seemed to me extreme presumptuousness on the part of those who want to make human ability the measure of what nature can and knows how to do, since, when one comes down to it, there is not one effect in nature, no matter how small, that even the most speculative minds can fully understand.
Galileo Galilei

Mr. Bo Jangles is a girl! Mr. Bo Jangles is a girl!
Dog Show

When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
Anatole France