if THEY didn't get it...

Well... it's been awhile since I've posted anything. So I'm mostly figuring that all my family and friends have stopped reading these ramblings of mine. But I came across these old posts by chance and I thought I go ahead and add a new one. It's along the same lines of the rest of the quasi-serious posts here, so I thought it would be a good place to pick back up.

And, to give credit where credit is due... the gist of this idea came from my lovely, and surprisingly wise wife/bff:

So, Jesus was walking around on this planet with these twelve guys for like three years. They ate with him, walked with him, talked with him, and breathed the same air he breathed. Yet even in times near the end of his extensive ministry, Jesus was still telling them things like, "No no no. Don't you guys get it yet? What I've been trying to teach you all along is..."

And now 2,000 years later, in a different time and place and culture, with merely a smidgen of an inkling of all the things he said and did, some of us Christians have the gall to act like we've got it all figured out and everybody else is stupid. If those twelve disciples didn't get it, how can we assume that we've got it down pat?

I'm not trying to say the truth is relative. I'm just saying, "Let's have a little grace. Shall we?"

Mystery

Besides being a really good for a game of hang-man, mystery is a word that I’ve been thinking about more and more recently. I think God is an awesome mystery! And I think it’s something that we can tend to lose sight of.

The more you know about Him, the more you know how little you really know about Him. It’s impossible to imagine just how big and majestic He really is; which also means it’s impossible to imagine how much grace it takes for Him to be small enough to relate with us.

And I’m beginning to see that I’ve never really been able describe Him. God is a person of boundless love, and endless goodness, and His ways are far above my ways, and His thoughts above my thoughts. And I’m beginning to think that artists have it right. I don’t think all our rational thinking, logical discussion, and concrete doctrine can even begin to define Him. I think the closest pictures of God are seen in music, poetry, and other arts, like dance.

There’s something about music that reaches the heart. And after all, that’s where Jesus lives! The resonance, harmony, and emotion of music can somehow make us aware of Him without a single word. Whereas poetry taps into the essence of words. And after all, Jesus is the Word! God’s words have creative power. And being made in His image, our words can echo that power, reminding us of our Source. And other arts too are able to express these mysteries of God.

I think God is somewhere behind ideas and words, somewhere behind emotions and expressions, behind actions and motives. He’s at least greater than the sum of His parts. He’s spirit, and that alone is mysterious to us body-bound creatures.

Now I guess none of these descriptions are new or fantastic. And I hope you’ve had the chance to learn the same kind of thing in your walk with Him. I guess I’m just trying to share one of recent things I’m learning about Him. As God works and moves in my heart, I’m beginning to see that He is Heart too. And, I know, that sentence doesn’t make sense to me either. But neither does He.

Free Diving

Well I feel like a lot of stuff has been going on, and I’ve been learning a heck of a lot. But every time I set down to blog something I just draw a blank. I suppose, in part, it’s just the frustration of the difficulty in relating the full reality of our experiences to you, our friends and family, who, though caring and concerned and supportive, are in fact thousands of miles away and have a day to get on with. It’s difficult to put 3D, multi-color reality into black and white. Lemme try this:

I think it’s like free-diving. You know, when you take your biggest breath and dive down as deep as you can to reach that green dive toy in the deep end, or to get a closer look at that purple sea urchin. It was a fun struggle against the pressure to get down there, but now you’re running out of breath and you need to get back to the surface quick. You push off the bottom, jet for the top, and you feel your chest quiver as you fight the urge to breath in. Those last 5 feet are the worst, as you feel like your lungs are full of fire, you’re sure you won’t make it. You close your eyes and concentrate, trying to shutting out the pain. You’re…al…most…there.

So imagine that pain is like homesickness. I think that’s kinda where I’m at. But as I close my eyes and concentrate, I find that God is still teaching me some pretty awesome stuff. But by this point in the post, I’ve typed, deleted, re-typed, and re-deleted several paragraphs trying to give you a good example. It’s tough. I guess you’ll just have to take me out for coffee sometime in May and we can catch up. Starbucks vanilla latte, no foam, please. For the mean time, believe me, I’m trying to come up with something interesting to say.

The Ultimate Box

I know, I know. You're all thinking, "Ben! When are you gonna let go of this BOX thing?" Well, I think this'll be the last post.

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about. I've posted a couple of times before about whether or not there should be a proverbial box around our thoughts and beliefs. To read those rantings click here and then here.

But in relation to my last post, I just had to offer this picture as The Ultimate Box. It's a shadow box, to be exact, found at the front door of one of my friend's neighbors here in Malta. A shadow box, for those of you who may have skipped that craft class at your church's last family retreat, has a glass front for displaying little trinkets, models, or memorabilia for hanging on the wall. This one happens to display a bust of Jesus wearing a bloody crown of thorns and carrying a cross accompanied by a couple of birdies.

Some people have put God in that proverbial box, but these folks have put him in a literal one.

Keepin' It Real

Since the day we arrived in Malta, Jessica and I have been amazed at the abundance of Christian phrases and quotes and symbols to be found all over the island. People don't just name their houses after saints, they've got bumper stickers too saying "My heart belongs to Jesus" or "No Jesus. No Peace. Know Jesus. Know Peace." or "John 3:16."

Lots of times, it sounds like something distinctly Protestant, "Jesus is the only way." But that sticker is on every other car, and there's hardly that number of dynamic believers in the country. It's more just a matter of culture. Tradition. A social obligation.

And it's kinda frustrating sometimes, feeling like people are stealing my passion, or cheapening the sticker I might have on my car, or just tricking me into hoping that driver might actually be a kindred spirit. But in the end, more than anything, it makes me stop and think what a bumper sticker's really for. Why do I wear my "christian" t-shirt? Does my WWJD bracelet really remind me to always ask what Jesus would do? Here it is in the words of one of the best ever Christian musicans, Steven Curtis Chapman:

Well I got myself a T-shirt that says what I believe
I got letters on my bracelet to serve as my ID
I got the necklace and the key chain
And almost everything a good Christian needs

I got the little Bible magnets on my refrigerator door
And a welcome mat to bless you before you walk across my floor
I got a Jesus bumper sticker
And the outline of a fish stuck on my car
And even though this stuff's all well and good
I cannot help but ask myself--

What about the change
What about the difference
What about the grace
What about forgiveness
What about a life that's showing
I'm undergoing the change

So, what christian symbols do you wear, stick, or keep around you? Whatever it is, make sure it really means something. Or one of my favorite lines from a Michael W. Smith song with a similar theme: Are you holding the key or are you intending to pick the lock of heaven's gates?

That Puzzle

A puzzle from English class (but not for your typical ESL student).

The following sentence is, in fact, grammatically correct, but punctuation is needed to make sense of it. I sure couldn't do it and neither could my students. Can you add the necessary punctuation (, . ? ; : ' " etc.) and give me an explanation? Leave a comment with your answer, or email me. 10 points will be awarded to the person who has the most fun trying to solve it :) I'll post the answer next week. Here is is:

He said that that that that that man said was correct.

Now it's next week. The answer is below. No more points can be awarded.

Question #29

Not long ago, every member of Word of Life took a spiritual gifts test at the Tuesday night Bible Study meeting as a step to getting people more involved in ministries at the church. It was really great especially to see several of the newer Christians look at their results and excitedly “discover” a potential gift. I myself hadn’t done a spiritual gifts test for some time, and it was good too do one again. But the subject of this post is one question in particular, number twenty-nine:

I believe that God will help me to accomplish great things.

All the question are supposed to be answered on a little rating of 0 to 3 (0 being no/disagree/never, and 3 being yes/agree/always), easy stuff. I had whizzed through questions 1 to 28, but I got stuck for a minute on this one. I have been asking this question of myself for years.

I had been told as a child that I could be anything. When my parents asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I confidently said, “the President.” And they confidently replied, “Awesome!” And I grew up with great Bible stories like David and Goliath, or the boy’s measly 5 loaves and 2 fish that Jesus used to feed over 5,000. I knew God could do great things with my little self, so I had big dreams.

But then when I got to Jr. High and High School, the adults in my life started saying strange things like, “Ben, you’re a natural leader. You’ve got the qualities of a leader. You’re ahead of your peers.” I thought that was all well and good, but I couldn’t figure out why, if I was a leader, was there nobody following me? Was I doing something wrong? I guess they were trying to encourage me, but I ended up more disappointed in myself. Their constant encouragement felt more and more like unmet expectations. To this day, I’m still not sure if it was the right thing for me to hear at that time. If a young person is a natural leader shouldn’t we just let them grow into it? I mention this story specifically because I know that there are a few of you readers who are or have been youth group pastors. For those students in youth groups who are “natural leaders” should we really be telling them so, or spending extra time with them, or anything? What do you think? I remember one situation in particular when the teachers of our school chose four or five of us “leaders” to go on an extra cool excursion as a team building activity. But we didn’t grow especially close, and I don’t know whether the other kids are in any kind of “leading” capacity today. I only remember the looks and comments I got from all the “regular” kids when we came back to school, cause they didn't get to go.

Anyways, through that time I also figured out that I have a heart for missions. So I dreamed of graduating High School, moving off to some exotic pagan land, preaching to hundreds, with signs and miracles etc. So when I ended up trudging through lecture after lecture of a humanities course in a secular college, I wondered what God was doing with me. I argued a lot with God, and I was angry with Him. Why did He give me these illusions of grandeur?

At the same time, however, He showed me, in that gentle way that only He knows, that His hand was on me and that He was leading me one step at a time. I held on to the words of one of the godly women in my church. As she was praying over one sunday me she encouraged me by saying, "Don't be anxious about getting there, about becoming something. God's got a story He wants to work into your life." And today I'm confident that He has lead me exactly where He wants me.

But today I'm hesitant about saying exactly where God will take me in the future. How "great" does God want me to be? What "great" things does God want me to do? I don't know. That's up to Him. My dreams and expectations were disappointed because they haven't been realized (yet, at least in the time frame I had imagined). But I'm not disappointed with where I am now. In fact, I count myself to be the most blessed man on the planet. So maybe my expectations were just too much or too fast or something. Like I was recently telling someone - sometimes we need to give ourselves room to be smaller than our dreams. Maybe some of us dream too big and set unrealistic expectations. Maybe others dream too small and need to be encouraged to realize their full potential in Him. How will you answer question twenty-nine?

On a side note, question twenty-nine was targeted at measuring whether you have a particular spiritual gift of faith. And while this question was tough for me, the test as a whole still scored faith in my top three possible gifts.